That’s the question has been in my head lately. I assume that it is must be so terrible.
Sometimes I heard on the news or a gossip about someone, a woman got hit by her husband. Whenever I heard that, I felt so angry. I was angry about how we, human, could treat others so badly like that. I was angry about why women always stayed silent, took all the bad things their husbands put on them. I was angry about the way others people around them couldn’t stop the abuse when it happened. Uh, I felt angry about the whole things. And one day I heard about men being bitten by their wives, I was totally surprised. After that, I knew that anyone would be the victim of family violence – If that’s the word for what I am writing about. I felt angry about that. Until now. Until I heard that it has happened to one of my beloved ones. I don’t know how to express my feeling! And now I see how useless I am when it really happens to somebody I know. I can’t stop it. I’m just sitting here, trying to write something. My friend is preparing for a legal solution. Still, she is in fear of what will be able happen to her while she’s preparing the process and I fear for the safety of her, too.
I grew up, seeing some women came to my house, telling my parents about how their husbands hitting, kicking or punching them… I saw their bruises. I felt a little of their fear, their broken hearts. I swore to myself that I would never let it happen to me or people I cared about, people who were close to me. Now I know I’m not a mighty one.
Do you have so called Safe Houses in a city where you live? It is a place, hidden from publicity where victims of violence at home can stay and be safe. That might be a beginning of a solution for your friend.
There’s Safe House in Hanoi but there isn’t such thing in other provinces, Darko. Many people think that family vilolence is something you should keep behind your door.
And that’s wrong. Victims often can’t protect themselves and are suffering behind those same doors. It is a problem in traditionally oriented societies (in Serbia as well) but that has to change.
I feel the same, Mit. Angry and helpless. I have told someone to leave their husband before. Even gave her a list of women’s shelters she could call to pick her up. But then the next day said to me, “thanks, but no thanks”. ??? I really did not understand. So I will not listen to her complaining anymore. It is too upsetting. She really did not want my advice I guess.